PEOPLE AND PLACES

PEOPLE AND PLACES

Friday, March 21, 2014

REMEMBER YOUR FIRST KISS

 

 

REMEMBER YOUR FIRST KISS 

   

From nervous laughter to a passionate kiss: What happens when you lock lips with a girl on your first date. Almost  strangers looking for love.

A first kiss is an intimate and sometimes nerve-wracking moment for any two people, but what happens if they have never met each other before?

That's the theme that Los Angeles-based filmmaker Tatia Pilieva explores in her new video First Kiss, in which she asks 20 complete strangers to lock lips on screen - with some surprising results.

While most of the participants laugh nervously to fill the awkward silences before their kiss, many of them become passionately lost in the moment when they finally lean in.

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Intimate moment: In Los Angeles-based filmmaker Tatia Pilieva's new video First Kiss, 20 complete strangers lock lips on screen - with some surprising results

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Intimate moment: In Los Angeles-based filmmaker Tatia Pilieva's new video First Kiss, 20 complete strangers lock lips on screen - with some surprising results

Intense chemistry: While some of the participants laugh nervously to fill the awkward silences, many of them become passionately lost in the moment when they finally lean in

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Intense chemistry: While some of the participants laugh nervously to fill the awkward silences, many of them become passionately lost in the moment when they finally lean in

The heartwarming video, which was made as an advertisement for clothing company Wren Studio, has already amassed more than 2.5million views.

In the beginning of the film, each of the couples is introduced to each other and they giggle apprehensively as they prepare to take part in the experiment. 'Do we just do this any time?' a woman asks the camera crew as she and the man she's been paired up with look at each other with curious interest.

They both can't help but break into laughter as they are told to kiss whenever they're ready.

Strangers kissing

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Viral: The heartwarming video, which was posted on Monday, has already amassed more than 2.5million views

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Viral: The heartwarming video, which was posted on Monday, has already amassed more than 2.5million views

In another segment, two women giggle awkwardly as they face each other. One asks the filmmaker jokingly, 'Can you turn off the lights?' causing the other to laugh even more.

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Breaking the ice: In one segment, two women giggle awkwardly as they face each other. One asks the filmmaker jokingly, 'Can you turn off the lights?' before they ultimately kiss tenderly

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Breaking the ice: In one segment, two women giggle awkwardly as they face each other. One asks the filmmaker jokingly, 'Can you turn off the lights?' before they ultimately kiss tenderly

In another segment, two women giggle awkwardly as they face each other. One asks the filmmaker jokingly, 'Can you turn off the lights?' causing the other to laugh even more.

One of the pairs attempts to go the traditional route and shakes hands when they meet each other, and the man can help but joke: 'Shall we make out?'

But the tone changes dramatically when the couples finally kiss, some of them discovering that they share an intense chemistry.

Getting to know you: One pair begins by holding hands lightly with their foreheads together

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Getting to know you: One pair begins by holding hands lightly with their foreheads together

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Getting to know you: One pair begins by holding hands lightly with their foreheads together

Strong connection: When they lock lips, they let go, wrapping their arms around each other

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Strong connection: When they lock lips, they let go, wrapping their arms around each other

A man in a white T-shirt and grey beanie hat, for instance, appears very involved in kissing the blonde woman he has been paired up with.

Indeed, the two begin by holding hands lightly with their foreheads together before locking lips, with her wrapping her arms around his waist while he puts his hands lovingly on her face.

Another duo smiles as they kiss, holding each other tenderly and embracing the moment.

Formal greeting: One man attempts to go the traditional route and shakes hands when her meets the woman he's been paired up with

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Formal greeting: One man attempts to go the traditional route and shakes hands when her meets the woman he's been paired up with

Subtle request: The man can't help but joke: 'Shall we make out?' causing them both to giggle

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Subtle request: The man can't help but joke: 'Shall we make out?' causing them both to giggle

Dropping the act: But the tone changes dramatically when they finally kiss, seemingly discovering that they have an intense chemistry

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Dropping the act: But the tone changes dramatically when they finally kiss, seemingly discovering that they have an intense chemistry

Ms Pilieva told Harper's Bazaar that it was difficult to make the video, not least because of all the awkward silences - but that these ended up being some of the best parts.

'I've directed a few sex scenes before - this was a lot harder,' she revealed.

'My first instinct was to call "cut" the moment people finished kissing but I painfully made myself wait and allowed the moments to breathe.

Uncomfortable moments: Ms Pilieva told Harper's Bazaar that it was difficult to make the video, not least because of all the awkward silences - but these actually ended up being some of the best parts

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Uncomfortable moments: Ms Pilieva told Harper's Bazaar that it was difficult to make the video, not least because of all the awkward silences - but these actually ended up being some of the best parts

Letting it happen: 'My first instinct was to call "cut" the moment people finished kissing but I painfully made myself wait and allowed the moments to breathe. The most beautiful moments took place when nothing was happening,' she said

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Letting it happen: 'My first instinct was to call "cut" the moment people finished kissing but I painfully made myself wait and allowed the moments to breathe. The most beautiful moments took place when nothing was happening,' she said

Positive feedback: One viewer said of the video: 'Lovely. It's wonderful how lips meeting can make two strangers become one just for a few minutes'

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Positive feedback: One viewer said of the video: 'Lovely. It's wonderful how lips meeting can make two strangers become one just for a few minutes'

'The most beautiful moments took place when nothing was happening,' she added.

The video has attracted a lot of attention, with many viewers commenting on it on YouTube.

'That is awesome in its own beautiful, awkward way,' wrote one fan. Another said: 'Lovely. It's wonderful how lips meeting can make two strangers become one just for a few minutes.'

WATCH: What happens when strangers kiss

 


 


 

 

Lonely people have less activity in a part of the brain that normally lights up in association with reward, scientists have found. It's not clear if social isolation diminishes the brain-reward response, however, or if people with less activity in that part of the brain tend toward loneliness. More research will be need to sort out the findings, which come from a study of just 23 female college students. But the finding offers hope that scientists may improve their understanding of loneliness, a growing emotional problem in an increasingly scattered society and one known to raise the risks of several health problems.

The subjects were surveyed with standard questions to determine who felt socially isolated, or lonely, vs. those who did not. They then underwent fMRI brain scans while looking at photos of people enjoying themselves.

The ventral striatum — a region of the brain known from other research to light up in association with rewards such as food and money — was much less activated in the lonely group.

"Given their feelings of social isolation, lonely individuals may be left to find relative comfort in nonsocial rewards," said John Cacioppo, aprofessor of psychology at the University of Chicago.

Growing problem

About one if five Americans experience loneliness, Cacioppo said. And it is a growing problem in modern society in part because the average household size is decreasing. By 2010, 31 million Americans — roughly 10 percent of the population — will live alone, Cacioppo and his colleagues say.

Previous work has suggested it can be as detrimental to health as smoking, Cacioppo said. In his book, "Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection" (W.W. Norton, 2008), he presented evidence that loneliness is related to less blood flow through the body, poorer immune systems, increased levels of depression and a faster progression of Alzheimer's disease.

A 2006 study by a different research team, of people age 50 to 68, found that those who scored highest on measures of loneliness also had higher blood pressure, a major risk factor for heart disease. The potentially deadly health effect of loneliness accumulates gradually and faster as you get older, that study found.

Although loneliness may be influence brain activity, the research also suggests that activity in the ventral striatum may prompt feelings of loneliness, said Cacioppo's colleague Jean Decety, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the university. "The study raises the intriguing possibility that loneliness may result from reduced reward-related activity in the ventral striatum in response to social rewards," Decety said.

The results are published in the current issue of the Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience. Cacioppo presented the findings today at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, in Chicago.

What to do

In his 2008 book, Cacioppo and co-author William Patrick, former science editor at Harvard University Press, argue that loneliness creates a feedback loop that reinforces social anxiety, fear and other negative feelings. Getting out of the loop requires first recognizing it and overcoming the fear related with connecting with others.

"The process begins in rediscovering those positive, physiological sensations that come during the simplest moments of human contact," Patrick said. "But that means overcoming the fear and reaching out."

"Lonely people feel a hunger," Cacioppo added. "The key is to realize that the solution lies not in being fed, but in cooking for and enjoying a meal with others."


Are you lonesome tonight,
Do you miss me tonight?
Are you sorry we drifted apart?
Does your memory stray to a brighter sunny day
When I kissed you and called you sweetheart?
Do the chairs in your parlor seem empty and bare?
Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?
I wonder if youre lonesome tonight
You know someone said that the worlds a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why Ill never know.
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But Id rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and Im standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you wont come back to me
Then make them bring the curtain down.
Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Can't buy me love: Lonely people

Evocative: A woman cuts a solitary figure in the middle of Trafalgar Square at night in a photograph taken in 1910New Romantics: A girl poses up against the unmistakeable image of the London Tube map in 1981Power structure: A man looks across the River Thames towards Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament in 1939 on the eve of the Second World War 
Mistakes Lonely People Often Make

Once someone has become socially isolated and down about it, there are some common traps they can fall into which maintain their loneliness: They hide from the world because they're embarrassed about being lonely and having no life. People who you don't live with really can't tell all that well how much of a social life you have or not. More than that, even if they do have a hunch that you may not be up to all that much on the weekends, they likely don't judge you all that negatively for it. Of course hiding like this is counterproductive because if you want to start getting a social life together, you have to begin putting yourself out there. Lonely people can also hide in the sense that they're really guarded about revealing anything about themselves, because someone might catch on to how little they have going on in their lives. Doing this can prevent new relationships from getting off the ground. A lonely person may 'save face' by avoiding a potential new friend, rather than have to reveal they don't have a ton of buddies at the moment.

The alternative is to be more casual and straightforward about the fact that your social life is lacking at the moment. It's actually something that can happen to anyone from time to time. If the topic comes up, you can just say something like, "I've been working too much lately. I've got to start going out more" or "Ha ha, I think I'm in a bit of a social rut at the moment. I fell out of touch with some old friends, and really should start meeting some new people."  They become experts at distracting themselves from their loneliness.

It's relatively easy to occupy spare hours in front of a TV, computer, or video game console. Some people even use alcohol or dope to take the edge off. People can also get good at structuring the times they do routine errands, so it almost feels like they're busy and have things going on in their life. Obviously this doesn't do anything to fix the underlying problem. They get too comfortable in their rut

When your social life isn't where you want it to be you can find yourself in a situation where you wish it was better, but at the same time you're used to things how they are now. Like the point above mentions, maybe you've gotten really good at filling your time with things that are a half-decent substitute for socializing. Being comfortable like this can be insidious in that on some level you want to improve your situation, but you're not feeling enough of a push to really go after it. It's easier to stay in for another weekend. They expect other people take all the initiative in inviting them out. Sometimes you'll meet someone you get along with and they'll make all the effort of getting your contact information and inviting you out with them, but often this doesn't happen. People are usually pretty busy and already have social lives of their own. They're often on a kind of auto-pilot where they won't think of you as a potential buddy unless you get them thinking that way. Showing an interest in spending time with them is one way you can do that. By waiting for them to extend you an invitation, and doing nothing to put yourself on the line, you may have been unwittingly implying that you weren't interested in hanging out with them.

Also, lonely people can have the mindset where they see whether they're invited out or not as a gauge of how much people like them. If someone doesn't invite them out they take it as a sign that the other person doesn't want to spend time with them. Like I said above, it's more a question of whether you're on someone's radar as a person they could potentially hang out with. Also, people tend to differ in how often they invite people to do things. Some are really friendly, organizer types. Others figure out what the rest of the group is doing and ask if they can come along (or it's just implied they can come). Others are more passive still. It's possible the other person could be waiting for you to invite them out.

Inviting people out and making plans is also a bit of a pain. You can't always leave the work in the other person's hands. Your friends shouldn't always have to be the ones to pick up the phone and think of something to do when they want to hang out with you. Ideally you each pull your own weight.

A final mistake is thinking that inviting someone to do something makes you look weak, desperate, or 'one down'. Don't worry about who invites who to do what and what it all means. If you want to get a circle of friends together assume you have to do all the work to make it happen.

See: How To Make Friends And Get A Social Life. They think they have to be super likable to have friends. Pretty much anyone can have friends if they want to. More often than you'd think you just have to be pleasant, non-annoying company: A buddy to shoot pool with, someone to play video games against, someone to go drinking with, someone to talk to about a common interest. Even an annoying person who makes an effort to be social and make plans with people will often have friends.

They actually aren't that interested in hanging around people

This isn't exactly a "mistake", but it can stymie someone's ability to establish relationships all the same. People who become lonely may be more shy and anxious in the first place or not have as much of a built-in need to be social. They may also have been ostracized in one form or another when they were growing up, leaving them a bit bitter and weary towards other people.

They may feel the painful effects of loneliness and isolation and want to escape them, but at the same time they're not 100% keen on being around other people. This can get them stuck in a pattern where sometimes they'll feel lonely enough that they make initial steps to get a social life going, but then they don't quite have the motivation to follow through on them.

They have a negative attitude towards people

Studies have shown that lonely people tend to be more cynical and negative about other people. This could be a cause or effect of being lonely, or both. In practice this manifests in a picky, superior, or snobby attitude. It may be an over compensation for insecurity, anxiety, or low self-esteem. It may also have routes in somewhat justified feelings of being different, left-out, and alienated. A past of social experiences that haven't gone well may also have left a lonely person feeling jaded about other people.

     

An Italian spin of the First Kiss video that went viral has been released - and proves to be much more passionate than the original.

The original First Kiss video, produced by LA-based fashion line Wren, shows 20 strangers making out for the first time.

Attracting millions of YouTube views, First Kiss’s participants were mostly models, actors, and model-esque musicians.

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An Italian spin of the First Kiss video that went vial has been released - and proves to be much more passionate than the original

An Italian spin of the First Kiss video that went vial has been released - and proves to be much more passionate than the original

When the creators of the video discovered 'those strangers were in fact actors playing a part for the cameras in a studio' they said they felt cheated

When the creators of the video discovered 'those strangers were in fact actors playing a part for the cameras in a studio' they said they felt cheated

They decided to make their own version with strangers in the street

They decided to make their own version with strangers in the street

When the creators of the Italian version discovered 'those strangers were in fact actors playing a part for the cameras in a studio' they said they felt 'cheated' and decided to make their own version in Italy.

They went out in the streets and asked total strangers - male and female - to have a kiss on camera.

Although many participants looked sheepish at first, one couple then became so involved that they stopped, looked at each other, and then started again.

When many of the pairs broke apart they looked slightly embarrassed at getting caught up in the moment of passion.

 

They went out in the streets and asked total strangers to have a kiss on camera

They went out in the streets and asked total strangers to have a kiss on camera

One couple became so involved that they stopped and then started again When the creators of the video discovered 'those strangers were in fact actors playing a part for the cameras in a studio' they said they felt 'cheated' and decided to make their own version      

 

One couple became so involved that they stopped and then started again

'We took to the streets and told random people we bumped into about this video, and how it broke our hearts,' said the creators

On their website the creators wrote: 'By now you must have seen 'First Kiss' from Tatia Pilieva, and many of you probably felt cheated when you found out that those strangers were in fact actors playing a part for the cameras in a studio.

'This broke my heart so much that I just couldn't help it. I called four friends that didn't know each other, and on Friday the 14th, instead of going to work, we all went downtown.

'We took to the streets and told random people we bumped into about this video, and how it broke our hearts. We asked them to take up a needle and thread to help us mend it with real kisses.

'This video is the result of that day. It left us exhausted, shaking, tired, and in love with life like never before.'

Origina: In Los Angeles-based filmmaker Tatia Pilieva's video First Kiss, 20 complete strangers lock lips on screen, but they are models and this news disappointed the film makers

Origina: In Los Angeles-based filmmaker Tatia Pilieva's video First Kiss, 20 complete strangers lock lips on screen, but they are models and this news disappointed the film makers

 

       

 

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